Sunday, December 13, 2009

The Waiting Room

The medical practice that I work for had their Christmas Party("Holiday Party"-but that's a whole other story!) last night. I always enjoy them. It is a fun time with people that I love working with and who have become genuine friends of mine. Last year for the party I was asked to write something using "Twas the Night Before Christmas" as the theme. I wrote a parody using the basic rhyme of the story but changing it to go along with an emergency in the medical office.
This year I had the pleasure of offering the prayer at the party and I was also asked to write a little something again. I used the Medical Office theme and wrote about a view of the waiting room from a grouchy old woman's perspective. I recited it in costume and with a cranky east coast accent. It might not make much sense to you if you have never worked in a medical facility but for those who are curious, here it is:

THE WAITING ROOM by Carla Hampton

I'm finally here, the traffic was awful;
the likes of which should be unlawful.
I know I'm 20 minutes late
but I sure hope they don't make me wait!
I'm sick you know and must be seen
I'm pretty sure it is my spleen.
I think I should just take a seat
I really need to rest my feet.
All around here there is coughing
Catching something's in the offing
Coughing, chilling, gasping, wheezing
Watery eyes, sore throat and sneezing.
While sitting here in the waiting room....
"What's that I smell, Is that perfume?"
It doesn't take scientific theory
To see that I am sick and weary.
Sweating, Feverish, ears a ringing
Chest congestion, eyes a tearing.
I've been sitting here for one whole second
Waiting for my name to be beckoned.
What's taking so long? I must be next
Why's that guy looking at me so vexed?
You can't go next so stop with the wink!
I could have the Asian flu, H1N1, Pneumonia too!
What's that you say???? I NEED TO CHECK IN?
My patience now are wearing thin!
I.D.???---"Are you kidding me?"
I've been a patient years, you see!
Insurance Card? It is the same!
Why nothing's changed, except my name!
You need my money now, you say?
My Insurance has, NO CO-PAY!
You need all my information?
Now you've added to my frustration!
How much longer will it be?
I have places to go and people to see.

"I hate to tell you this, Mrs Smith.
Your appointment was on December 5th!"

Saturday, November 7, 2009


     Have you ever noticed that the lack of self discipline has a tendency to be like a virus?
I have often observed times in my life where I seem to be completely out of control.   It's not that I'm out of control in all areas but if I am out of control, it is never just ONE area!
    I find that if I 'm not eating right, I am also not exercising, cleaning my house regularly, keeping up on my laundry, diligently staying on my household budget or using my time wisely.
     No, no, instead I'm eating what ever I want, completely ignoring the fact that I'm more than 50 lbs over weight, exercising the remote control instead of this body that I built, doing a load of laundry only when I have absolutely nothing clean to wear, and surfing the net for hours looking for stuff I don't need to spend the extra money that I don't have on it! 
     The lack of self discipline infectiously eases its way over in to more and more areas of my life until it  completely does a number on my self esteem and who I want to be as a person. 
     Tom Landry, coach of the Dallas Cowboys football team for over 30 years said, "The job of a football coach is to make men do what they don't want to do;  in order to achieve what they've always wanted to be."
      William Barclay wrote, " Nothing was ever achieved without discipline; and many an athlete and many a man (or woman) has been ruined because he abandoned discipline and let himself grow slack."
      I don't want to be a slacker......It's not my goal in life........I'm getting rid of this
disciplined step at a time.

                      As the scripture says, "Discipline yourself, for the sake of godliness"

Friday, October 9, 2009


I recently went to my "37th" High School Reunion. Not 35 or 40, no this was indeed our 37th. The class had so much fun at the last reunion that they didn't want to wait until the 40 mark. This was to be the celebration of the 55th birthday of the 1972 graduates of Warren Central High School.
We had over 500 kids in our graduating class but only 30 showed up to reunite! I have to admit that I dreaded going. I have gained at least 80 ugly pounds since last seeing these people and was struggling with some self esteem issues but I put on my XL big girl panties and went anyway.
I was astounded by how much most of us had changed. When did it happen? Why, just the other day we were 18 and having the time of our lives. No responsibilities and no worries. Now....37 years later time had left a mark on our faces, hair (or lack of,) bodies, teeth, and vision. When did it happen and why didn't we see it coming. Wrinkles, hairloss, blindness, weight gain...... I'm having surgery tuesday. I tore the meniscus in my right knee. The doctor didn't hesitate to tell me more than once that if I was 15 and fell on my knee I wouldn't have any damage but due to "age" and arthritis.....thank you Dr DiLella. I'm feeling so much better about the "golden years".